Moments
by TheRugMaster
Summary: Life is not made up of the amount of breaths you take, but the amount of moments that take your breath away. Moments of Mulder and Scully throughout all nine seasons.
1. Crush

**A/N God, I haven't written any x-files fanfic for ages. I have two x files stories that I want to write but I need to get into the x-files...zone if you will. =] And I tried xfiles shuffle challenge and GOD it was HARD!! So this seemed a good idea...which I did not come up with, lostmidtranslation did, and she is kindly letting me use it =D Anyway enough of my waffle =] Please read and review!!**

**One song, one story: Pick a song, write a story in that time (no editing!) **

_Crush: David Archeleta_

Mulder put the phone down. It took several moments to realise that he was still grinning from his conversation with Scully. Even though it had just been about work, he'd enjoyed talking to her. He always did.

He knew he had a bit of a crush on her- who could blame him? Maybe more. Maybe he was actually falling in l-

No.

Nothing more.

Just a little, totally controllable crush on his partner.

Nothing more.


	2. Under the Influence

"Mulder!"

"What?" I twirled "What's up Scully, don't you like my shirt?"

"Not with the tie." She said bluntly, although she was smiling.

"Why?" I looked down. It doesn't look _that_ bad.

"It doesn't match. And you can't go to another ass chewing in it."

I considered. Women have tried to change me before. Especially my ties. Why is that?

"Please change." She said "For me?"

Oh. _Unfair._ She knows that I can never say no when she says that.

She's got me totally wrapped around her finger.


	3. American Idiot

Mulder had been played for a sucker for far too long to put up with it anymore. CSM was going to get what he deserved and Mulder was determined that it would be him delivering the punishment.

Mulder didn't want to be a fool for this conspiracy and longer. He didn't want to be an idiot who accepted what he was told without question and followed their lead.

He was glad that Scully was with him on this; it made it a little more bearable. But they should watch out, because he wasn't taking it anymore.


	4. The look of love

We sit in a diner, Mulder and I, pretending to eat, but really keeping surveillance on someone who is, according to Mulder, an alien.

I wistfully watch a woman feed her baby. I've missed out on that. But its ok- I've got aliens to chase. Joy.

"He's getting up. C'mon Scully."

For a moment I don't move. What would happen if I gave it all up? Would he let me go?

But then he looks at me in that way and I'm useless. I follow him out of the diner to arrest an alien.


	5. All the small things

_All the small things: Blink-182_

_(I actually remembered to put the song and band on it this time =])_

I walk in and there, as usual, is my coffee and a bag of sunflower seeds to help me get through the day, I take a swig.

"Scully," I say "You're a lifesaver."

"I know." she replies, lifting her own cup in a toast, not once glancing up from her magazine. A small daily routine that comforts me.

"Oh." she adds "Skinner wants to see us."

And one that does not.


	6. The Black Dress

_The Black Dress: The Higher_

She frowns slightly and circles something in pencil, tutting at whatever's wrong. I'm frequently taken aback at how beautiful she is. Those _eyes!_ So expressive...and she's slim, with her tiny little waist...and her legs...and her b-

"Mulder?"

"Hmmm?" I choke out.

"You're staring."

"Oh. Sorry." I say flustered. She's right. It is_ wrong_ to think about your partner in that way, especially while at work.

But you know what? I think she likes it.


	7. Poker Face

_Poker Face- Lady Gaga_

**Frohike POV**

"Wow." I said admiringly. "Hot _and_ a decent cards player!"

Scully smirked as she made her way to the bathroom. I noticed Mulder watching her.

I cleared my throat "She's good at hiding what she's thinking." I offered.

"She's must be hiding her love for you then Frohike." Mulder replied, looking down at his cards studiously.

I snorted. "She's hiding her love for someone Mulder, but it sure as hell ain't me."

**A/N Ok so I don't know why Scully and Mulder would be playing poker with the lone gunmen but....just go with it =]**


	8. The end where I begin

_The end where I begin: The Script_

Her skin is soft beneath my touch. Sometimes I long to hold her hand like this when...when she knows I'm holding it. When she's concious.

I'm not normally one to learn a lesson, even when I get my ass kicked. Usually I'll just go ahead and make the same mistake again, but this time...this time I will.

"Wake up Scully." I say "I just gave up knowledge for this, for you. Wake up for me."

Wake up. I don't like who I am without you.

**A/N This one is set during the time when Scully's in a coma thing after her abduction and Mulder gives up the chance to get that info or catch the people who did it...I admit, I'm a bit hazy on that bit, it's been a while since I saw it and I don't own the series so I couldn't check. =]**


	9. All my best friends are metal heads

_All my best friends are metal heads: Less than Jake_

She slips over in the mud and stares perplexedly at the muck covering her. I offer her my hand and she accepts it, laughing. "Wow, a whole new meaning to the phrase dirty weekend."

"Have you ever been on a dirty weekend Scully?" I ask, teasing. I don't expect her to answer with a very un-Scully giggle.

"You HAVE!" I point at her and she blushes.

"I was in college...."

"I never knew."

"Well, yu don't know much about me then." she pauses "I was a vegan too. And I listened to heavy metal."

She laughs again and trapises off, leaving me to stare after her in amazement.


	10. Room on the third floor

_Room on the third floor: McFly_

I stared at the room in dismay. I dropped my bag and sat on the bed- it was ridiculously hard. I hoped that Mulder's room was worse.

He picked up on the first ring. "Worst one yet?"

"Without a doubt." I replied "I'll say this for you Mulder, you sure know how to pick 'em."

"Sorry." I could picture him grinning, enjoying my discomfort, the bastard. "I'll make it up to you, Pizza, my room. I'll pay."

"Sounds perfect." I said sarcastically. Not.


	11. Big girls don't cry

_Big girls don't cry: Fergie_

I sat in the back for the first time in god knows how many years. I had Mulder's coat on, but I couldn't stop shivering. I had my eyes closed, pretending to sleep, but I had no control over the tears trickling out from under my eyelids.

It wasn't that this- this _monster_ Donnie Pfaster tried to kill me, to take my nail, my hair, but how vulnerable I felt.

The car stopped. I kept my eyes shut, Mulder and the detective muttering. I heard the doors slam and them get out. I peeked out: were we there? No, we just by the side of the road. What was going on?

My question was answered as Mulder slid into the back and pulled me into his arms, and I coul no longer prevent the sobs from coming.

**A/N I hate Donnie Pfaster, he really creeps me out. Him and Tooms. *shudder***


	12. Seventeen Forever

_Seventeen forever: Metro Station_

**"We're one mistake from being together"**

I am very, very close to breaking FBI protocol. They want me out anyway, but sleeping with my partner would be the final straw.

I'm holding Scully very tightly as we revolve and I feel her thumb caressing my neck. Sheila and Holman are dancing near us. Scully has her head on my chest, watching them.

I'm about this close to kissing her. I've wanted to for so long. And we have to share a room tonight...

A mistake? Or my chance?


	13. Photograph

_Photograph: Nickelback_

"Hey, what have you got there?"

Mulder jumps. "Morning."

"What's that?" I point at his hand.

"Photo." he holds it out for inspection. It's of a cute little kid, smiling and holding a baby. Behind him is a little girl with pigtails and a boy with a missing tooth.

"That's me holding Samantha." He points to the boy. "That's Joey, my best friend growing up."

"The one whose house burned down?"

He nods and points to the girl "Rachel. My second best friend, who grew up to become my very first girlfriend..." He trails off, lost in memories. "Anyway, our latest case..."


	14. Umbrella

_Umbrella: Biffy Clyro_

"Why are you still here?" He lifted his head up from his hands. He didn't look angry, just defeated. And it broke my heart.

"Why wouldn't I be?" My voice was calm, not betraying the inner turmoil. "I'm just as committed to this as you Mulder."

I wrapped my arms around him. Why was I still there?

Because I can't leave the man in my arms, that's why.


	15. Fearless

_Fearless: Taylor Swift_

I haven't laughed so much in ages. Mulder flashes the credit card at the waitress, then pays for the outrageously expensive meal we've just eaten. Skinner is so going to regret giving me that.

He walks me to the car, but we're both a bit drunk. He's just about to call a cab, but then music spills out as the doors to a resteraunt are propped open.

He offers me his hand and I take it and then we are dancing. I'm close to him and I fell it, the current, more than ever,

"Are you afraid?" he says softly. I don't even have to think. I cup his cheek with my hand. _Afraid? With **him**?_

"No." I whisper.

**_Never._**


	16. Listen to your heart

_Listen to your heart: Roxette_

I put my face in my hands and desperately tried to fight the tears. Behind my closed eyelids was an image of his face, serious, but with a quick smile and emotive eyes.

"Dana, listen to me." Doggett put a hand on my shoulder. "It's been months. He's vanished, he's gone."

All those secret feelings, all those snatched moments together, everything for neatly eight years- just gone. I should've given up, looked after my baby and try to forget him.

But I couldn't. I knew he was out there somewhere, I could feel it. You don't have a connection as deep as the one Mulder and I had and not sense things.

"No," I said clearly "He's alive. We'll find him. I know we will."

He looked sceptical. "_How _do you know?"

I smiled to myself. "Something inside won't let me say goodbye."


	17. Call me

_Call me: Blondie_

"Hey Scully, it's me."

I smiled at the sound of his voice. "I'm sorry to call you so late-"

"No, no, it's fine." I interupted. This was how it went. He would call, then apologise for doing so. I would tell him that it was fine and then we would talk about whatever. True, he always rang about a case, but that was just an excuse.

"I'm sorry I call you so much."

"It's ok, Mulder." I said softly. "Call me whenever."

I didn't tell him that I loved the sound of his voice, that I loved that he loved to talk to me...

And I definitely didn't tell him that I loved him.


	18. Irreplaceable

_Irreplaceble: Beyonce_

**A/N: This is set after the episode Szygeny.**

I'm so angry I could punch a wall, scream, cry, _kill him._

The frustration boils over. "Don't you _dare_ treat me like that again!" I yell. "Or I might just take up the offers I've been given!"

"Offers?" he stands there, glaring. "What offers?"

His sneer grates. I snap.

"I've been offered chances to abandon the X-Files. Abandon you. And don't think I won't do it, if you keep treating me like shit. I won't put up with it. I don't have to do this Mulder. This isn't _my_ crusade."

"Scully..." he stretches out a placating hand, but I shrug it off.

"Don't touch me." I say flatly, and stalk out.


	19. No one

_No one: Alicia Keys_

"Scully, I'm going to give you a warning- people are starting to talk about you and Mulder." Skinner surveyed me. I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry sir, have I broken FBI policy?" I asked politely, but defiantly.

"No, but you're damn near it!" he blurted out, then frowned.

"Mulder and I are professionals, sir." I said coolly. "And if we're adhering to FBI policy at all times, what is the problem?"

He shrugged. "Just wanted to give you a heads up. You can go."

I walked out, irritated. My feelings for Mulder break policy, I know, but they're deeper too, deeper than their _policy_ could ever imagine.


	20. No sleep til Brooklyn

_No sleep til Brooklyn: Beastie Boys_

The windows were down, the wind blasting through, a shock to my skin forcing my eyes to stay open.

"Mulder, let me drive." she protested. "You're falling asleep at the wheel for god's sake."

"I'm fine. Plus, you're arm is still injured."

She pursed her lips in disapproval, but couldn't argue with that. And we needed to get back to DC, which meant driving through the night.

Suddenly she stabbed at the button and radio static filled the air. She fiddled with the dials until she found some loud song and turned the volume.

"This will keep you awake." she grinned, singing along. Looking at her I couldn't help but think_ how could I ever want anything more?_


	21. Respect

_Respect: Areatha Franklin_

He'd been watching me- particularly my _chest area_- for a while, but I wasn't interested. I thought I'd made it obvious, but clearly not.

Anyway, I knew all about him. He'd been working his way around all the wome in the building. He'd groped Lana in the lift. Now he was trying to do it to me too.

I pushed him off and he stumbled. "Don't bother." I snapped.

He snorted. "Why, would you rather be shagging Spooky than me?"

The lift doors tinged open just as I said "Frankly, I'd rather have sex with a mollusc. I'm sure their technique is much more subtle."

There was laughter and whistles behind me. I stepped out of the life to the applause of all the women there and sauntered off, Mulder grinning at me at the end of the hall.

**For the unintended Muse, for getting my butt into gear and reminding me to update =]**


	22. My Paper Heart

_My Paper Heart: The All-American Rejects_

_"Scully?"_

_"Yes?"_

There was a pause. Then he said it.

_"I love you."_

I stared at him, certain that all my confusion must be plastered across my face. Did he mean that? Or is he just concussed?

I rolled my eyes and said "Oh brother." Testing him.

As I walked away my heart sank. Once outside the door I leaned against the wall. he didn't mean it. He would have said something more. He would have fought to keep me here.

"You ok?" Frohike looked concerned.

"I'm fine." I forced a smile "Excuse me."

I needed a coffee and a good cry. How could he do that- tease me? It's not a game we're playing.

It's my heart.

**For the unintended Muse, for getting my butt into gear and reminding me to update =]**


	23. Swing, Swing

_Swing, Swing: The All-American Rejects_

_"Scully?"_

_"Yes?"_

There was a pause. Then I said it.

_"I love you."_

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew I'd said the wrong thing. She just _looked_ at me, like I was stupid.

I thought- I thought-

The seconds stretched into moments, days, years, the years I kept quiet. I've blown it.

Scully rolled her eyes. "Oh brother."

She went out and I lay back, wincing at the bruise on my cheek. It was real. That _kiss_ was real. And god, what a kiss.

But that wasn't enough, not for me. I couldn't last with just one kiss from a fake Scully.

I needed the real thing.

**For the unintended Muse, for getting my butt into gear and reminding me to update =]**


	24. Nothing else I can say

_Eh, eh (Nothing else I can say): Lady Gaga_

I smiled and clinked my glass against Mitch's before drinking deeply. I didn't want to do this.

I opened my mouth, but he put his fingers to my lips. "Don't." he whispered "I know you Dana, I've been your friend for a whle."

"Then you know I can't carry on with this." I said softly.

He didn't say anything, but leaned in and kissed me gently, before squeezing my hand. "It's him isn't it?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes. Of course. It always is."

**For the unintended Muse, for getting my butt into gear and reminding me to update =]**


	25. Sonny

_Sonny: New Found Glory_

I took a deep, calming breath and wiped my eyes. My make up had all gone now, and my make up bag was still in my cra- typical that today was the one day I forget it- but at least I didn't have mascara dribbled down my cheeks anymore.

It had been two weeks since Dad's funeral, two weeks since…since that case, and I'd thought things were getting better. People had stopped calling and everyone else was just as determined as I had been since the start to get back to normal life.

Until lunchtime. Mulder had said something and it just got to me. Suddenyl I was standing, walking as fast as I could to the bathroom.

I pushed the door open and barrelled into Mulder. He had been waiting out there for me. He said nothing, but took my hand and squeezed it, then nodded, and continued to talk about something irrelevant.

I knew then that this man understood me. He was a gift from the gods.


	26. Last night on Earth

_Last night on Earth: Green Day_

**Oregon**

She lay in my arms, so snug and warm that I thought it might be physically impossible for me to let her go. I pulled her tighter towards me. Her breathing was deep and even, she must have dropped off.

"I love you." I whispered. "I always have. There was never anyone else for me."

"I love you too." She breathed. I jumped slightly, but then she murmured something else and I realised that she was responding to me in her sleep. It was as if our connection was now so strong we could even communicate when one of us was unconscious.

"I love you." I repeated "And that's why you have to leave now. It's not just because you deserve the chance to start a family, to have a normal life- it's so we can find out if we can make it. I'm not going to leave you Scully. Ever."


	27. Making a memory

_Making a memory: Plain White T's_

"Why do you do it Mulder?" she yelled. "We've finally got them off our backs and you-you-"

She turns on her heel and storms out of my apartment, banging the door shut on her way out. I stand there for a moment, then groan to myself. "Oh hell."

I chased after her, slamming my palm against the button for the life several times. By the time I got out there she was just about to get into her car.

"No, Scully, wait!" I shout "Don't go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She looked at me for one long moment then sighed. I offer her my arms and she sinks into them, hugging me tightly. "Why do we do this?"

I have no answer to say, but inside I think _because then we get to make up after. _


	28. Wait another week

_Wait another week: Elliot Minor_

I hit the send button, and my email to Scully and William disappears. I stare at the screen for several minutes, hoping the it reaches her safely. Maybe my email adress is too obvious- trust no one has been my motto for years after all.

Slowly I log out. I've known for years that Scully is the one for me, the perfect woman. I've needed her for so long that I don't feel right without her here. Permenantly wrong.

I miss her so much, and I want to hold her, and my son. But I won't put her in danger.

I won't.

If I have to wait forever, I'll keep her safe.


	29. Out of reach

_Out of reach: Gabrielle_

I gaze out of my window. I can't believe he did that.

It's raining.

Good.

I thought we had something, me and Mulder, Mulder and me. Now I can see that it was nothing, just a bit of flirting between two friends. And he will never love me like he loved Diana.

How can I tell him what the Lone Gunmen told me? I don't want to hurt him, even if he has no problem hurting me.

I take a deep breath. I have to. Because even if he doesn't love me, I'm still his best friend.


	30. Babydoll

_Babydoll: The Fratellis_

"D'you really think the government would do that?"

He laughs at my sceptical expression.

"Yes. Don't believe everything they tell you." he says condecendingly.

"I don't." I reply, affronted. "I just think you're too mistrusting."

"Well," he says, musing "I'm not that bad, really. I do still trust my instincts about people."

"No you don't. You didn't trust me at first." I point out.

"Well there's always the exception to the rule. And lets face it Scully, you are exceptional."

I raise an eyebrow "I am?"

He nods, smiling. "Of course you are. I let you in didn't I?"


	31. Rock Show

_Rock Show: Blink-182_

"Ok." He looked at me, pondering. "When was the first time you fell in love?"

I knew this was coming. "Eighth grade, my biology teacher."

Mulder grinned. "Ooh, older man. No, properly."

"Erm...his name was Jay. I was 17...I went to a festival, got really drunk and threw up on his shoes. We kind of took it from there."

"Ah, true romance."

I smirked. "It lasted a year."

He raised his eyebrows and I smiled. "Right. My go."


	32. Crying Lightning

_Crying Lightning: Arctic Monkeys_

She was in a dangerous mood.

Scully offered me a bite of her sandwich and I knew that she was in one her teasing moods and I knew I wasn't safe.

She sensed that my guard was up and smiled, putting her hand on my arm then making her fingers dance lightly down to my hand.

"You ok?" A simple question but with a deeper meaning. Was I ok? Ok- to what? Carry on this little game we kept playing?

"I'm fine." I said in a low voice, moving closer to her. "Are you?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Just peachy." she said, stepping back.

Game. Set. Match.


	33. Your biggest mistake

_Your biggest mistake: New Found Glory_

**Bill Scully POV**

Dana's in hospital. Again.

She got injured while on a case. _Again._

It was that jackass Mulder's fault. _**Again.**_

I told her she's mad for staying with him. I mean if he was her husband who was a loser, who she loved, then fine. I could accept that. But he's not, he's just some idiot she works with.

I mean, would Dad be happy with what he's doing to her? She could have ahd such a perfect life.

If it wasn't for him.


	34. Damned if I do ya

_Damned if I Do Ya (Damned if I don't): All Time Low_

A couple of glaases of wine and I'm tipsy; laughing- no _giggling_- flirting and cosying up to him. I've haven't been so laid back in ages.

"Scully." He looks down at me and I know then that he's going to kiss me. I've given up everything else in my life for this. He starts to lean in.

No. This is wrong. He's my _partner_.

Who cares?

No.

Yes. I'm damned whatever I do, right?

"I'm sorry." I say, scrambling to my feet. "I can't do this."

And then I run for it.


	35. Help!

_Help!: The Beatles_

"Please Scully." I looked at her and hoped she could feel the desperation radiating from me. "I can't do this without you."

How times change. Once I found her presence annoying, something to put up with.

Once. Once I wanted solitude. Not now.

"Fine." she grumbled good naturedly. "But if this is a dead end I want you to use our wonderful people skills to get me a pay rise."

"Of course." I grinned, opening the door for her. I didn't even care if this was a dead end as long as she was with me.


	36. Nobody puts Baby in the corner

_Nobody puts Baby in the corner: Fall Out Boy_

I gulped down my drink. I still wasn't sure why I felt so pissed at Scully. She was perfectly within her rights to go on a date.

I looked up as she slid into the seat opposite me.

"Hey."

"Hey." She looked concerned. "You been drinking much?"

"Not enough to decide to get a tattoo." I said sourly.

She raised her eyebrows at me, then sighed. "I came to...apologise for my behaviour."

I held up my hand "Don't bother." I tried to sound natural. "It doesn't matter. None of it does."


	37. FNT

_FNT: Semisonic_

"What is _that?_"

Mulder is staring with revulsion at my hands. I glance down.

"Lunch?"

"That's a yoghurt." he corrects.

"Well observed." I say, frowning in confusion. "It's got bee pollen in."

"Er...why?" He poibts his burger at me accusingly. "You're trying to lose weight aren't you?"

"No." I bluff "It's a health kick thing. My friend told me about them."

"The one who got you started on those shake things?"

Reluctantly I nod, and he sighs. "You're a scientist, Scully, you shuld know better. And besides," He takes a big bite of his burger and speaks with a mouthful "you're perfect as you are."


	38. Fairytale

_Fairytale: Sara Bareilles_

She looked at me as though I was mad.

"A _mermaid _is killing these men?" she repeated. I nodded and she snorted with laughter. "I'll put an APB out for Arial then."

"Ha ha. No, Arial turned human remember?"

She raised her eyebrows "Oh, yeah. She fell in love with a stranger and left her whole life behind to marry him. Wonder how long _that_ lasted."

"Happily ever after?" I suggested.

"Nope." she shook her head "Doesn't exist."


	39. Blame it on the Weatherman

_Blame it on the Weatherman: B*Witched_

First Emily, now William.

I cradled my son in my arms, the tears flowing fast and furious. It's not fair. It's not fair.

It was all Mulder's crusade, I just went along with him, and now I've lost two children, and he's gone too.

William deserves to be safe from _Them_. I hate Them. They drove Mulder away from me, they've forced me to give up William.

What's wrong with me? Is this my fault? Did I do something wrong?

William shifted in his sleep and I kissed him one last time, then handed him over.

How many times can one heart break?


	40. Torn

_Torn: Natalie Imbruglia_

"He was everything. My touchstone, my...one in five billion, my best friend." I looked up from my coffee and looked at my Mom in pain. "But I was stupid, Mom, stupid. Nothing can happen and now the X-Files has been burnt down and I don't know what to _do!_" My voice cracked and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Don't worry Dana." she whispered "Don't lose faith. Some things are meant to be."

"I know." I burst into tears "But are we?"


	41. Dirty Little Secret

_Dirty Litttle Secret: All-American Rejects_

We were laughing when Tom Deveson got into the life. Instantly we clamed up.

_I hate that guy._

"Working late?" he turned to me. waggling his eyebrows.

I pretended to smile, then pulled a face as he stepped out of the lift.

"Night Mulder."

"Night."

As soon as she was out of sight Deveson turned to me "Been having fun?"

I blinked and he grinned "Bet she's a right tiger isn't she? Don't blame you though, she's hot. Well, night."

He sauntered off and I was left staring after him. Does everyone think we're sleeping together? Are they really that interested in my dirty little secret- I like to hang out with Scully because I actually like her, and not because I have no one else?

I can't do anything anymore without causing a big fuss.


	42. Break your little heart

_Break your little heart: All Time Low_

It's coming. The fall is coming.

She passed a floder over the desk and I could see down her shirt. A nice view, I'll admit.

"Mulder are you ok?" she asked.

I nodded and smiled "Fine."

Because it doesn't matter how beautiful she is, how she knows me better than I know myself, how much I want her, nothing is going to happen between us.

The fall is coming. I'm going to break her heart one day, and I can do nothing to stop it.


	43. Before the Worst

_Before the Worst: The Script_

"Should you be drinking?" I asked her worriedly.

She narrowed her eyes "Who cares?" She picked up her pint and we clacked glasses and drank deeply.

"Bet you can't down it in one." she grinned.

"Five bucks."

"I've changed my mind."

"Ok, winner gets five."

She thought for a second. "Deal."

I lost.

Not on purpose, but it was nice to see her gloat, nice to see her happy. Because we both knew that her cancer was going to get a lot worse and she needed all the laughter and light to take with her into the uncertain future.


	44. Ooh La

_Ooh La: The Kooks_

**Margaret Scully POV**

I watched Dana sleep, softly stroking her hair. She always looked so young when she slept, even with her enormous baby bump. All her defences fell down; all her armour lay discarded to one side.

That armour that she had always had, even as a child, which had got so much tougher since she started work on the X Files. Sometimes it pained me to think of the life that she might have had, but everything happens for a reason. Dana never goes down fighting, even though the world had tried to so hard to break her.

Mulder would save her one last time, I knew it. I could feel it. She would get her chance with him, her time, her happiness.

I hoped.


	45. Bad Romance

_Bad Romance: Lady Gaga_

I downed the wine in one gulp. I could see Mulder on the other side of the room, talking to some girl from the next floor up.

I hate office parties.

I hate how everyone tends to avoid me and Mulder as if we have something contagious, unless it's some bitch trying to chat him up.

I grabbed another drink, knowing full well that I would regret it. Sure enough soon I was stumbling over.

"Steady there, Scully." Mulder caught me neatly before I fell over, I clutched at his shirt.

"I need to go home." I gasped. He nodded, putting his drink down and steering me towards the exit. On the stairs on the way to his car I held onto him tight, pretending to be drunker than I was so that I could do so with a valid excuse.

"Who was that girl?" I asked him jealously once in the car.

"No one." He replied, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"I don't like her." I said bluntly.

He rolled his eyes to the heavens "What a surprise." He said under his breath

"What?" I demanded.

"You don't like any female who talks to me."

I looked out of the window, but said nothing. It was true. "You don't like any men that talk to me." I pointed out.

He shrugged and the rest of the journey was in silence. It wasn't enough anymore. I couldn't remain "just friends" much longer. I didn't want to put up with this drama anymore.


	46. Ego

_Ego: The Saturdays_

"So when did _you_ first fall in love?" she asked me.

I shifted uncomfortably. "When I was 14." I admitted "With Rachel."

"Your friend?"

I nodded "I liked her for years before I did anything."

"What happened then?" Scully asked curiously.

"We finally got together when I was 16, but it ended after about 8 months."

"Why?"

I shrugged "She said we were better as friends-but then she started dating a jock a week later. Me and Joey got dropped soon after. I simply wasn't good enough for her anymore."


	47. Leave me alone

_Leave me alone (I'm lonely): Pink_

I gritted my teeth as Mulder fussed around me.

"Is that o-"

"Yes, it's fine." I snapped

He held his hands up "Ok, calm down."

"Be quiet." I growled "Just-just leave me alone!"

"I'm trying to help."

"I don't need you to help."

"Fine!" He marched off, slamming the door.

* * *

I picked up the phone and dialled his number. He didn't pick up, so I left a message.

_"I'm sorry Mulder. I miss you. Please call me."_

Just as I hung up there was a knock at the door. I flung it open, and there he stood, holding out a single flower.


	48. You and Me

_You and Me: Plain White T's_

I frowned as I tried to thik how to phrase my conclusion. Damn reports. I wish I could just set them all on fire.

I needed a sticky note to jot some ideas down. I looked up "Scully-"

She handed me a sticky note block.

I stared "How did you know I wanted that?"

She looked blank "I don't know."

We stared at each other for a split second, then burst out laughing.


	49. I miss you

_I miss you: Blink 182_

Dear Mulder,

It's been 43 days since I last saw you and it doesn't get any easier. Everyday I sit down and I write a letter and tell you what's happened it the day, and how William is doing and how I'm doing and everything that I would say if we were a normal couple and you'd been out to work all day and come home for dinner. But it doesn't happen like that for us. Of course it doesn't. I miss you, Mulder, and it's slow burn inside. It's my birthday on Sunday and I wish we could celebrate it how we used to- a meal, an odd present from you that would really be layered with meanings that I would pretend not to think about, but really my mind would tick over working out what you meant by it. Maybe we can do that one day. Maybe we can be together. I don't know.I don't know anything, except I love you.

And I miss you with all my heart.

I miss you, Mulder.

I miss you.


	50. Accidentally in love

_Accidentally in love: Counting Crows_

**Skinner POV**

Mulder escorted Scully out of the room, his hand on her lower back as usual. He murmered something in her ear, a dangerously intimate move for two FBI partners.

I looked away. She glanced back up at him, and the look was so tender, so...so loving, I felt as if I was intruding on them.

Those two were in love and I don't think they even realised it.


	51. All I wanted

_All I wanted: Paramore_

I fidgeted and rolled over. Then I rolled back. Then onto my other side, now curled up, now stretched out.

Irritably I sat up and switched the light on. I got out of bed and wandered to the kitchen. I couldn't get Mulder's sister out of my head. He'd done it. He'd found out what had happened to her. He'd completed the quest. All he'd wanted to do was find her. And he'd done it.

But...what about me? What about _my_ closure? I'd been through it all too_-_

-but all _I_ wanted was him.


	52. Anxiety

_Anxiety: Black Eyed Peas feat. Papa Roach_

I slammed the car door shut. Sometimes I just felt so fucking furious about this _thing_ inside me, this internal poison. I stomped on the acceleration and the car shot forward.

I'd yelled at Mulder, for no real reason, and I'd apologise later, but for now I was venting my anger on the roads.

"Argh!" I screamed, and smacked the wheel. It _wasn't fair_. I wasn't afraid of death, god knows I've faced it enough times. I wasn't scared of bullets or my enemies or my secret feelings. No.

I was terrified that thing would beat me.


	53. A little less 16 candles

_A little less '16 Candles', a little more 'Touch Me': FallOut Boy_

I'm racing to Scully's as fast as I can, but there's traffic and I'm already 40 minutes late. We're meant to be going out to dinner...she wanted to tell me something.

_Come on, come on, _I chant in my head, tap tapping frantically on my wheel.

I screech into a space, and run up to her apartment. She opens the door, all dressed up, looking beautiful, looking like she could kill me.

"Where-" she stops.

"I'm sorry-" I try, but she shakes her head and closes the door in my face.

**A/N Lorraine A, if you're reading this, thank you for the review!! =D**


	54. Dr Beat

_Dr. Beat: Miami Sound Machine_

They normally hated the Christmas office parties. They stood in the corner, Mr and Mrs Spooky, and cleared off ASAP.

But this year, Mulder had had a few too many. And this year he wanted to dance.

"Come on Scully." he beamed, dancing in front of her.

"No way." she folded her arms.

"Help me, Scully. The beat's infected me."

"Makes a change from an alien virus" she said drily.

"Come on Dr," he smirked "Dr Beat, lets _dance_. I can't dance like an idiot _alone_."

"But you can dance like an idiot with me?" She sighed, and stepped forward to take his hand.

**A/N Lorraine A, if you're reading this, thank you for the review!! =D**


	55. Fuck You

_Fuck You: Lily Allen_

I stared into his eyes and couldn't help smiling at him. He stared back, his mouth open slightly. The cigarette that I had grabbed from his lips and thrown to the floor smoked slightly by his polished smart shoes.

"What did you say Agent Scully?" He looked completely flabbergasted. Telling him after years of his bullshit felt..._wonderful._

"I said," I told him, stamping hard on the cigarette "_Fuck you."_


	56. Don't let go

_Don't let go: David Archuleta_

**Mulder**

"Thanks for taking me home Mulder." She smiled slightly "You didn't need to though…I'm fine."

My fingers, resting on her lower back tightened slightly as she opened her door. I passed her bags over and she dumped them to the side.

"See you tomorrow Mulder." She said, almost shyly, and shut the door.

I sighed to myself. What was this urge to help her all the time, to be with her for as many moments as I possibly could? I leaned on the door and tipped my head back. I was getting in too deep here…

**Scully**

My palm was flat on the door, and I pressed my cheeks to the smooth hard wood, trying to hear of Mulder was still out there. I couldn't ask him in, I couldn't trust myself. But god, I didn't want to say goodnight.

**A/N JAM thanks for the review if you're still reading! If you post any of your mini song fics on here send a message? I'd like to read some! =D**


	57. Things I'll never say

_Things I'll never say: Avril Lavigne_

"Ow!" he winced as I hugged him to my chest tightly. "Er, kind of bruised here Scully." he said lightly.

"I know, I've examined you, while you were unconcious." I told him "You're fine."

"I didn't know you cared so much." he said, grinning.

I turned my head to hide my blush. "Well, who else would I go to meetings with?" I said off handedly, cursing my cowardice. After all these years why couldn't I just let him know that he was everything to me?

**A/N AJM, if you're still here, thank you for your review!! =] **


	58. Telephone

_Telephone: Lady Gaga and Beyonce_

Charlie raised his eyebrows as my phone rang again.

"Is he your partner or your boyfriend?" he said lightly. I flushed slightly, but shrugged.

"Sometimes he feels like my minder." I muttered. _Go **away** Mulder!_

I picked my phone up. My finger hovered over the accept button, but then I glanced at my brother and made up mind. Mulder's not my whole life, I reasoned.

I pressed the off button and promised myself I'd ring him later, and I wouldn't blame it on a lack of signal. Honestly.

**A/N AJM, if you're still here, thank you for your review!! =] **


	59. Coffee Break

_Coffee Break: Forever the Sickest Kids_

My phone, switched off, lay beside my pen. I cradled a cup of coffee in my hands, my eyes closed. I needed a moment to think, to think about _her_. About my sister.

It was her. I was so sure it was. We all were. But it was just some experiment, some conspiricy, it couldn't have been her because there was so many of her...

It hadn't been my sister. Not really. I had to keep looking.

I sighed and put the coffee down, turning my phone on. Almost instantly there was a call, from the only person I could bring myself to speak to: Scully.


	60. She's so lovely

_She's so lovely: Scouting for girls_

I sneak a peek at her: Special Agent Dana Scully, mu new partner. She's reading over the case file, biting her lip. I'd like to bite that lip-

I mentally smack myself on the back of the head. Yes, Fox, she is very attractive, but jeez. What makes her more attractive is that she doesn't seem to realise it.

I don't know how this is going to work; me and her, her and me. I think we're two very different people.

But at least while she's here she'll give me something nicer than aliens to look at.


	61. Ignorance

_Ignorance: Paramore_

"You don't know Diana like I do." he protested. I lost my temper and flung the papers I was holding at him.

"You _don't_ know her Mulder!" I shouted "This is my point! I have seen NO proof that we can trust her! And if you're too afraid to look, then you're not the man I thought you were."

I slammed out of the room. There was something wrong with Diana Fowley. I knew it.

But if Mulder wasn't going to listen to me, then, as far as I was concerned, he could go to hell. Because that was where Diana was going to take him.


	62. Driving in my car

_Driving in my car: Madness_

I beeped the horn angrily and Scully tutted by my side.

"What?" I snapped and she looked at me, eyebrows raised. I sighed and muttered "Sorry."

Scully smiled ever so slightly. "I told you that driving in Boston was the worst idea you've had in the four years we've been working together." she pointed out. "Why do you insist on driving _everywhere?_ Is this a man thing?"

I snorted. Hardly. I happned to like traffic jams.

With Scully.


	63. Chew me up and spit me out

_Chew me up and spit me out: Cobra Starship_

My arm is around her waist; she has her head resting on my shoulder. This isn't a provocative, or even unusual, position for us to be in after a hard case.

But tonight...something feels different. I can't quite put my finger on it.

I know it's stupid. If I tried anything Scully would probably castrate me. She's probably not sensed how my feelings are changing, no matter how perceptive she can be.

I know that if, if, _if_, anything happened she'd be horrified.

I know that even if she wasn't, it could never happen while we're partners.

But a growing part of me wants to try it anyway.


	64. What's my age again?

_What's my age again?: Blink-182_

"Mulder, are you done skimming stones yet?" she asked me impatiently.

"Nope." I replied, unpeturbed. "I like it. When I was a kid, me and my Dad and Samantha used to do it for hours."

She raised her eyebrows slightly and I turned to her with a grin. "You know what else we did?"

She shrugged "What?"

I dropped the stones and scooped her up.

"Mulder!" She hit my back "Put me down!"

"No!" I started running down to the sea and she screamed.

"No! Mulder!" she tried to sound stern through the laughter but failed miserably. "You're so childish!"

I beamed. "That's me." I put her down and we looked at each other for a long moment before I shrugged, and put my arm around her shoulder as we walked up the beach, back to the adult world.


	65. Foundations

_Foundations: Kate Nash_

We sit there in silence, each of us refusing to be the first one to say anything. It'll only spark off another row.

She begins to speak to the table, voicing her theory, which is diliberately the opposite of what I'm going to say. I sigh and roll my eyes childishly. She shhots me the filthiest look she can muster, one of the ones that says _die._

"What's _your_ idea then Mulder?" she spits out "One that we can actually follow up though please. For once." She tacks the last part on under her breath.

I glower at her. Sometimes I hate her. I don't bother to give my theory. Fuck it.

"No, it's ok, you seem to have it all covered." I snarl and walk out, leaving the rest of the agents gawping and Scully furious.


	66. Come back to me

_Come back to me: Plain White T's_

I'm lying on the floor, crying. I'm dying, I'm dying. And I told Mulder, the one person I want with me, to fuck off last night.

I left him two messages, apologising, asking him to come back. I didn't tell him that I needed him, I wanted him, I loved him. The words wouldn't come, but now it doesn't matter. He's ignoring me.

I cry harder, uncontrollably, and then I feel his arms around me tight, safe. "I'm back." he murmurs "I'm here, Scully."


	67. Wherever you will go

**Wherever you will go: The Calling**

I pulled her close to me. It wouldn't be enough to keep her warm. I had to keep her warm.

The spaceship had long gone, and it was growing dark, so dark. I was rubbing Scully's arm, her back, trying to heat her up, just a little. After everything that had happened I still had no proof, but I had Scully, I was sure of it. I would follow her to the ends of the earth- which it looked like I actually had. But as I clung to her even more tightly I was determined that if she died in this frozen wasteland I would too.


	68. Local God

**Local God: Everclear**

_Valentine's Day_

Scully and I were sitting on a bench, eating our lunch, like it was an ordinary day. But it wasn't. It was Valentine's Day. Another one.

And Scully could scoff all she liked but I knew that she'd secretly be thrilled if a guy did something romantic.

Pity I'm not romantic. I'm no Romeo. I can't express myself in eloquent soliloquies. Besides, I'm just the guy she works with. I can't get her flowers, and candy, it would be inappropriate. And we're treading on thin ice as it is.

All I could do was insist that _I_ bought our lunch.


	69. I don't wanna know

**I don't wanna know: New Found Glory**

He was wearing his glasses, his hair was dark, and he was undeniably attractive but he made smart-ass jokes, snide comments- _that's why they put the I in FBI-_what a jackass.

But now he's sitting in front of me, trusting me with what happened to his sister; something that's obviously haunted him for years. I can't figure him out. He wants to keep his distance, but I'm intrigued by him. He's so different to anyone else I've worked with, but his doors are firmly closed.

I can't wait to find out if he'll open them for me.


	70. Stuttering

**Stuttering: The Friday Night Boys**

It shouldn't be this difficult to talk to him like a normal person. Why can I only talk to him very formally or sneeringly? I'm such an _idiot._

I hand him the file and our fingers brush against each other. There's a _zing_, like an electric shock, and I draw back quickly.

"Thanks S-Scully." He says.

I can't stop a grin emerging on my face.

"Did you just stutter?" I say delightedly before I can stop the word.

"No," he denies quickly.

"Do I intimidate you, Agent Mulder?"

He mumbles something and turns away. My heart swells a little. He _did._ That is so _sweet_.

And maybe I'm not the only one struggling with what to say.


	71. Hellogoodbye

**Hellogoodbye: The Beatles **

Skinner looked angrily at us. "Did you know that he was involved?"

"Yes." I said, at exactly the same moment that Scully said "No."

We looked at each other. Skinner raised an eyebrow. "Would you two like a moment to get your story straight?"

"No." I said firmly.

"Yes." Scully said, equally as firmly and at the same time.

Skinner looked at us. I nearly groaned out loud. Would Agent Scully and I _ever_ be on the same page?


	72. Finding me out

**Finding me out: The Friday Night Boys**

I picked the phone up. I knew it'd be Mulder, calling to apologise for his latest jackass comment, in the latest row.

"Scully."

"I'm sorry."

He rambled on as I made my way idly over to the window, and stared out moodily. Suddenly I noticed something.

"Where are you?" I asked, cutting across him.

"At home. Why?" he sounded confused.

"No reason." I said, smiling to myself as I looked out to see what was unmistakably Mulder's car him in the driver's seat, looking up at my window.


	73. Forever and Always

**Forever and Always: Taylor Swift.**

_"You have no new messages."_

Again. I feel like Bridget fucking Jones. Where is he? Why hasn't he phoned me? Too busy hanging out with _Diana_, I suppose. Pretty, perfect Diana, who pretends to believe in all that crap he does.

Normally I prefer the silence, but now it feels oppressive. I stick on the TV, but it's babbling reminds me of Mulder- he's always got it chuntering away in the background.

The phone goes off and I seize it after the first ring. It's my brother.

Mulder, where are you?


	74. Something there

**Something there: Beauty and the Beast.**

"Mulder, can you pass me the stapler?"

He grabs it and presents it to me with a bow. As I take it, our fingertips touch and there's a frisson. We make eye contact. His eyes are deep and dark...

Oh god. I look down hastily at my papers. What _is _this? This...this heat? It wasn't there before...it just sprung up on me, taking me by surprise...

Oh. Hell.


	75. Oxygen

**Oxygen: New Found Glory**

_Monday_

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

He's dying, right in front of me, and there's nothing I can do except hold him and try to stop the bleeding.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

"Hold on Mulder." I murmur, as close as a lover, as close as I've always longed to be. "Don't leave me, please, don't leave me."

I can't breathe I can't breathe.

I can feel him slipping away from me, a snowball melting in my hand.

I can't breathe.

I can't live without him. As his breathing becomes restricted, so does mine- if he goes, I do too.

I can't breathe...


	76. Skyway Avenue

**Skyway Avenue: We the Kings**

I glanced behind me, but couldn't see anything. To my left was Scully, keeping up, in even her heels

Suddenly the lights came on; blinding. I yelled in shock and put my arms up to cover my eyes.

"Mulder!" Scully slammed into me. I grabbed her hand and blindly ran.

"Stop!" She yelled, digging in her heels in and dragging me to halt. We were at the edge of the pier; all that was ahead of us was black menacing water.

"We have to jump!" I shouted.

"Are you crazy?" she screamed.

"It's the only way!" I tried to find her face behind that glare of the lights. "C'mon! Do you trust me?"


	77. Parachute

**Parachute: Cheryl Cole**

I frantically looked for his face, for him to say he was joking. But there was nothing.

"C'mon! Do you trust me?"

"I-"

The helicopters were overhead, maybe if we disappeared into the water we could get away...

"Scully!" The urgency in his voice steeled me.

"I trust you Mulder." His hand tightened its grip on mine, our fingers slotted together and we jumped into nothing.

The water was cold, icy, it stabbed me. I kicked desperately, trying to reach the top...

My face broke the surface at the same time as Mulder, and as we hid by the huge wooden pillars, he pulled me right into his chest. And even though I knew it was crazy at a moment like this, I felt safe.


	78. Death

**Death: White Lies**

She'd sobbed helplessly in my arms, her hands scrabbling at my back, as if to reassure herself that she was still here, alive, real and solid. I'd clung to her, trying to control my breathing.

Scully had been close to death, so, so, so many times. Why now was she so afraid? Was it because she had been...gone? That second where I'd burst in and seen her, my insides burned with a raw pain I'd never felt before.

And now I was watching her carefully than I'd ever done before, if that was possible. I'd never been afraid of death before...

But now I was afraid that it was going to take her from me.


	79. My Happy Ending

**My Happy Ending: Avril Lavigne**

I sat on my couch, staring at the picture of Samantha, my sister, the focus of my quest, of my whole life. And now...she was dead, dead and gone.

It wasn't meant to happen like this. All those times I was so close gave me more hope that one day I'd find you. I was meant to find you Samantha. I was meant to be a big brother again.

You were meant to be alive.

I dropped the photo onto the table. I couldn't save her. I didn't want this. It was too final. I wanted to see her, hold her, know her. Who would she have been, Samantha Mulder?

I guess I'll never know.


	80. I won't be home for Christmas

**I won't be home for Christmas: Blink-182**

I smiled sheepishly as Scully stood in front of me, arms crossed, left foot tapping, trying to hide her twitching lips.

"Mulder," she said, trying to sound severe. "It's Christmas Eve; can you please explain to me why I am here, at a jail, instead of with my family?"

"Well..."I coughed "I told you."

"Mulder..."

"I waved a gun at a guy dressed up at Santa."

"And?"

"And-let off a shot."

"Why?"

"Because I thought he was an alien." I confessed.

Scully sighed, but let herself smile. "You know, Mulder, you better have got me a really good Christmas present this year."


	81. Bubble Pop Electric

**Bubble Pop Electric: Gwen Stefani**

I pace back and forth, nervously fidgeting, fiddling with my dress. I inspect my hair in the mirror, carefully use my little finger to correct a smudge in my eyeliner.

_Come on Mulder_ I think to myself, tapping my fingers on my legs. I swear it doesn't normally take this long to get here.

The doorbell rings; I'm there instantly.

"Happy Birthday Scully." He grins, holding out some flowers. "Where do you want to go?"

I can't stop the smile spreading over my face as I bury it in the flowers and shrug.

"I don't care." I say happily "Wherever you take me."


	82. Safer to hate her

**Safer to hate her: You Me at Six**

Scully dropped her folder on my desk.

"I'll see you tomorrow Mulder." She said.

"Mmm." I pretended to be absorbed in reading. I sensed, rather than heard, her almost silent huff of impatience, and then shut the door a little too loudly for her to be in a good mood.

I put my head in my hands. This was horrible and harder than I thought, but me and Scully were getting too, too close. I needed to do this...before I took it a step too far.


	83. View from Heaven

**View from heaven: Yellowcard**

Melissa's song is on repeat. I'm in my pyjamas, eating her favourite ice cream. We used to do this when we were teenagers. I'm singing along, but my throat is raw and burning.

Can you see me Missy? Can you see how much I miss you? It's been three years, but I still miss you so much.

I'm sure that wherever you are you're having a better time than me. Maybe you're listening to this song and singing and eating ice cream...

Happy Birthday Melissa. I need you here. So badly.

**A/N Ahoy hoy! AJM, thanks for the review, and yes, 'Death' is set after Milagro :) **


	84. Ten Days

_Ten Days: Missy Higgins_

**_So, tell me, did you really think/ Oh, tell me did you really think I had gone/When you couldn't see me anymore/When you couldn't..._**

I had dreamed. Dreamed of a simpler life, of a life I could have had. Once.

I cling to Scully, the only one who can root me to this life on this earth. I need these arms here for me, forever. Even in the dream, she was the only one who was honest with me...

Diana is dead. God knows what they've done to me. But holding Scully makes me feel more solid than I have in a long time.

Holding her feels like home.

**A/N Gahhhh, sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've just started university, so I've been really busy.**

**This is for talkstoangels77 who asked me about this song a LOOOOOONG time ago. Sorry again it's taken me so long to put it up. The song is perfect for Mulder and Scully and I had a lot of difficulty in picking the right moment...and then writing it. I've written it so many times! Hope I picked the right moment :) **

**Also, AJM, thanks for telling me to update ;)**

**xxx**


	85. Dressed to Kill

_Dressed to Kill: New Found Glory_

I can't get used to this. I can't get used to constantly having to catch my breath when I think of the pain that he's gone. Gone. Where?

I dream of him, and only of him. I miss him so much it's like a physical burning inside me. It's stupid really. It's not like we spent much time wrapped around each other. But I miss the ready comfort of his arms.

I walk down the corridors, in my smart suits as usual. No one needs to know how ripped up I am inside. I work well by myself.

And no one needs to know our secret inside me either.

**A/N Not a great chapter, but the song is awesome :P**


	86. I could never hate you

_I could never hate you:The Eyeliners_

I smile at the picture on my bedside table, one of me and Mulder. We don't have many photos, which is why I treasure this one so much. It was at a poker night with the Lone Gunmen, and I kicked everyone's ass.

Good times.

It makes me smile because Mulder is on a date tonight. On a date. _Mulder. _With some bimbo from work. At one point I would have been annoyed or upset, but right now I couldn't care less, because I know she'll never hold him for longer than a date.

Because I know he'll be back to me tomorrow. And when I know that, how can I hate him for being out with another girl?


	87. You're still the one

_You're still the one: The Orleans._

I flicked the kettle on and spun around, clicking my fingers at the window. The outside world was white; it had snowed over the night, and I was doing an almost unprecedented thing- cleaning my apartment.

Scully had agreed to come round later for dinner, and I couldn't stop my happiness bouncing over into everything. I had stuck the Orleans on and was toe tapping my way around the kitchen, singing along to random lines. The song ended and I finished on a twirl, and thrust one hand into the air.

Then, an idea struck me. I went over to my cd player, carefully put it back in it's case and placed it on the table, sticking a post-it note on addressing it to her. Then I grabbed my jacket and car keys and left the apartment.

**A/N For AJM! :D More to come soon...:) xxx**


	88. The Special Two

The Special Two: Missy Higgins

"**And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross"**

I stare at the note as the music plays in the background. I know the song well. I know the lyrics.

I think I know what Mulder is trying to say.

Is this it then? The chance I should seize? Do I cross the line that I so firmly drew such a long time ago?

Involuntarily, my hand crumples the note, then, in panic that one word might be removed, smooth it out to read for the hundredth time since I noticed it on my mat.

The whole world is spinning. This is such an un-Mulder gesture, such a meaningful song, so...

I stare at the note, the only solid thing in the room. It doesn't say anything particularly meaningful. _Scully- listened to this and it made me think of you. Think it sums us up pretty well, don't you? Mulder._

He was thinking of me...

Do I risk it?

Do I dare?

Could this be...everything?

**A/N AJM! This is for you :D Because you're a wonderful reviewer and you remind me to update :) Also talkstoangels77, because she suggested this song with it's gorgeous and perfect lyrics.**

**I'm sorry it's been sooooo long since I updated, but uni was crazy last term, and Christmas was also mental. **

**Reviews? ;)**


	89. If you're not the one

_If you're not the one: Daniel Beddingfield._

The lights in my apartment are still out. I haven't bothered to switch them on since she left. Why did I do that? Why did I have to tell her?

I couldn't have been more clumsy. I mean, there was that stupid cd I sent her, then I just blurted it out over dessert. Is it any wonder that she freaked out?

I'd never seen her so agitated. She was pacing, saying the same few sentences, 'it won't work', 'I can't do this', and finally, she looked at me and said 'I don't want to do this'.

I knew it was a mistake. I should have just left things how they were. I know Scully. She'll be embarrassed. She'll withdraw from me. I'm such an idiot.

It's not like we were ever going to work anyway. It doesn't matter if everything with her feels right, however often those little moments where she takes my hand or I kiss her forehead feel like moments the whole world should revolve around them happen.

It's not meant to be.


	90. Carry You

_Carry You: Jimmy Eat World_

**I could never be the want that you want**

**Don't ask**

**So here's to living in the moment**

**Because it passed.**

**It passed.**

I lay down on my bed slowly, and stared at the ceiling. Work wasn't awkward like I thought it would be after...our dinner the other night.

I wonder if he always had that planned, or if it really was a spur of the moment thing like he said?

He had no idea how once I'd got into the lift I'd broken down. How I'd leaned against the walls and cried like a heartbroken teenager. How I'd cried myself to sleep and hoped that I would wake up and it hadn't happened.

Because, I was never going to be what Mulder deserved, or should have. He needed someone different. It was killing me, but I had to believe it, because otherwise I'd be getting up and pulling clothes on, and my keys would be in my hands and I'd be leaving my apartment at 2am and repeating _Dana, you're an idiot _over and over in my head...

_Dana, you're an idiot._

_Dana, you're an idiot._

_Dana, you're an idiot..._

**A/N I would highly recommend listening to this song at some point and listening to/reading the lyrics. I think this song fits really well with Mulder and Scully and it means a lot to me as well at the minute.**


	91. Feeling This

_Feeling This: Blink-182_

She stood in my doorway, 2am, dripping with water from the crazy rain outside, and I just stared. Her hand was still in the air, clenched in a fist from where she'd banged on the door, and she just looked back. The moment swelled with the silence, louder and louder, like a balloon.

She smiled slightly, and swallowed hard. "Mulder..." she began.

"Yes?" I couldn't even believe that she was here.

She glanced down at the floor and I could see a faint blush begin to emerge on her cheeks.

"Yes Scully?"

Come on Scully. Come on. Tell me, now, please.

She didn't say anything.

But she pulled me down into a kiss.


	92. I'm Every Woman

_I'm Every Woman: Chaka Khan_

I sauntered down the street as if I was in a film with my own personal soundtrack. I couldn't stop grinning like a total idiot. I didn't even care.

I smiled broadly at the girl I normally get my morning coffee from.

"You're cheery." she said, passing it over.

I winked at her, then turned to go, feeling slightly surreal. I never winked a people. My god, I was turning into a person for a musical. But I felt _so _light, so giddy, so happy. I couldn't help myself.

Last night could not have gone better. That deep secret, loving Mulder, had been untied, uncut and set free. No wonder everything felt so right. So perfect. No guilty secrets. No need to worry about it.

Not yet anyway. There'd be trouble, I expected, but at that moment, I couldn't have cared less.

.

.

.

.

**A/B That's the end of that little narrative, I'll be going back to random moments now. If you have any songs/things you'd like to see me write, please let me know! :)**


	93. Everything Changes

_Everything changes: Staind_

**I am the mess you chose**  
**The closet you can not close**  
**The devil in you I suppose**

Scully tried to stop the fury tears dropping, but she had no control over them, I could see. This didn't happen. Ever. She didn't cry from anger, she cried from fear, from misery, but not anger...

"Scully..." I reached out to try and take her hand but she slapped it away.

"Don't Mulder!" she snarled. "Don't. Just- go talk to her, listen to her, trust her."

I stared at the vehemence in her tone. She was really furious. And it hurt her. She didn't want me here. I started to leave her apartment, but, at the door, halted and half turned my head. "I don't know why you put up with me."

I heard her sigh. "Made a choice a long time ago."

She didn't sound happy about it. And I couldn't express how glad I was that she made it.

**A/N Sorry it's been a while guys! This is for IronWolfHunter :) **


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